Tiredness

I an tired after a long night,
I am tired of walking with noone in sight,
I am tired of sorrow and heart ache,
I am tired of losing everything on stake,
I am tired of unexisting fantasies,
I am tired of lying one after one in series,
I am tired of hiding every time I commit a sin,
I am tired of replying where I have been,
I have been through hell the one you put me through,
you are the one to blame just you,
I have been exactly where you have left me,
I have been where you wanted me to be,
One mistake washes all my goodness,
one tear washes all my happiness,
cause you don't want me to feel happy like this,
cause you want me to know where I lie is abyss,
cause truth is you and you are lie,
how smart how cunning how sly,
I am your puppet and I,
your masterpiece, your stage actress,
covered in tears wearing a black dress,
play my role of a troubled mind,
of a villainous victimized soul behind
the face of a naive teenager,
what a performance, what a stager,
and who am I to change your act,
a mere actor playing my part working in pact,
a fool to feel pain, a fool to demand recess,
it is madness, the say, a weakness,
it is tiredness I say
of playing the part that I no longer wish to play,
I can't think and wanna run away,
but where to go and where to stay,
where is my home, who is my friend,
who to ask what to do when I am at end,
my thoughts have given up with their fabrication,
once this pain is over, it will start again,
then another wave of pain will wash over me,
oh how long will this cycle continue to be,
oh how long will this cycle continue to be.

©candoura