to fall

butterflies eat away at what used to be my stomach.
fireflies burn holes in my brain only leaving the memory of you.
bitter yet sweet how I need you like a drug yet you are never around.
you never feel me.
it's like I'm a ghost a phantom of your once fantasies.
yet I'm nothing but a whisper.
so it seems.
you used to want me passionately.
you used to need me like the oxygen you breathe.
yet I used to leave you breathless yet I wonder if there any breath at all?
yet I answer the phone countless times giving you time when I feel neglected Left out.
yet you seem so happy.
so happy.
sometimes I don't feel like your boyfriend at all.
I feel just like a friend.
a friend that you won't bother to fuck.
yet I love you just to fall.
just to feel love.
with the agony of wanting you.
I just drift off to sleep.
knowing you say things but I wonder do you mean them?
yet I laid here in dreams of you that come every once in awhile.
yet my mind wants something else.
©darkdeity