as it ended
I fell apart
my deepest fears realized
I held myself back from loving you
the way you needed to be loved
I was fearful to allow you to love me
the way I needed to be loved
fearful that one day you would hurt me
and you did
I held off being physical with you
I held off saying I love you
I wanted to know that this time it was true
and that it was you
we meshed together so well
corrupt childhoods
street living abilities
we both knew heartbreak
we both knew loss
and still yet
you brought tears to my eyes
and put a pain in my chest
I became a cynical mess
all I had hoped and given a chance to
was to be with you
but you laid down with another
she fulfilled you in the moments needs
your greed killed us
I tried to let it go
but everytime your lips touched mine
all I envisioned was you with her
your hands on her like they were on me
your eyes looking into her eyes
as she felt your body inlay with hers
I could not get it out of my head
so I left this relationship for the dead
to rest in pieces
I left early that night
what if I would have stayed?
©envy2014
M