tortured

I'm tortured by things I can not believe.
things I wish my emotions wouldn't ravel.
yet I dream just to escape.
I write just to cope.
with the lost past traumas that splinter my brain.
secrets I wish were unchained.
anger like TNT.
rage like a fever.
tears like lava.
burning just to exist.
emotional anguish I buried skeletons just to hide.
yet no matter how red?
all I found is lies piled on top of lies.
blood supposed to be thicker.
but it thins Everytime you lie.
yet I am a deformity.
something My family never wanted.
a mistake.
a absent memory.
I became a afterthought.
fore I was never wanted.
I never belonged.
I was a outcast.
the little boy inside me screaming.
still I was always nothing to you.
yet I hated my very skin.
I hated my very last name.
I hated the blood flowing through my veins.
fore it was the reason why I was made insane.
I hated being Born.
I hated the thought of being here in fucked up Athens.
I hated never seeing my mom side of the family again.
I hated all the times I had to adjust to the harshness of school.
it's almost cruel.
having to leave for two years having another chunk of my life taking and thrown down the gutter.
just to feel a escape.
I hated my life I still do.
Randolphs I hate everything about you.
I hate you.
I hate you.
the torture you bring me.
wishing I was out of this hell.
but even that pain never escapes me.
©darkmocha