when you care
when you love
when you give your all
to some body
that you thought was right
then find out they are the wrong one
thought they cared about you
but still called you names
that hurt you in the process
he changed over the years
and i don't know why
i had to do everything
i felt like a prisoner
for so many years
i didn't know what to do
i felt like i was losing myself
so i went to the dark side
he use to put me down
and act like he didn't care
After a while i couldn't do it anymore
my feeling for him turned cold
i became cold- hearted
and stopped caring
i stopped doing stuff for him
even talking to him
i shut down completely
i bottled everything up
felt like i worthless
like i was no good for anyone
thought i was not here anymore
i kept telling him im gunna leave you
bc of the way you treat me
and had no respect for me at all
how can anyone deal with that
i tried to help him change
he didn't want to change for me
when i decided to leave him
he changed completely
he kept doing what he was doing
so i found somebody better
especially that treats me better
i understand i cared about him
at one point i was in love
that's changed tho
i couldn't do it anymore
so i changed my life completely
i wanted to be happy again
i didn't want to be miserable
i love the way i am now
i smile more
i laugh more
i care more
and love more
im actually talking about everything
some of the things i was afraid to say
bc i didn't know how anyone would take it
or see my point of view on my side
i try my best everyday
to do what i have to do
i try my hardest to help
especially if they need something
most people don't see the good in me
they see the bad after what they hear
the thing is they don't know
what i been thru in the past
im not trying to think about it
the more i do i get upset
i been thru so much in my past relationships
that i don't want to go down that rode
not again and be who i use to be
the hard headed stubborn
the more i do i don't want to do anything
i get emotional and sensitive about things
my mind races million times everyday
how can i change my life?
what can i do to change my life?
do i have the support i need?
why do people take me for granted?
what did i do wrong to deserve how i been treated?
who can i talk to anymore?
who can i trust?
why would someone want to control me?
why am i trying so hard?
why am i am trying to be perfect?
why am i here?
i ask my self so many questions everyday
people don't understand how i feel
they can try to all they want
my mind is not like anybody else
my mind thinks different
©deviid13
D