I realize alot I don't understand,
After years have passed.
Was never meant to be,
When I have asked and asked.
If it was ever intended for me,
I would've understood.
Clarity would've came,
Whether it was bad or good.
I'm not sure why,
It carries on and on.
Eventually it will stop,
And, be completely gone.
I remember before I knew it began,
When I cried out and prayed.
I tried to listen to God's will,
But, I failed Him along the way.
When pieces of a puzzle,
Have never been gave.
There's no complete picture,
Nothing known or engraved.
I used to be different,
I've changed too much it seems.
I no longer desire what I wanted,
Gave up long ago on my dreams.
It's not who I am anymore,
I've put all that behind me.
I accepted what I cannot change,
Without the ability to see.
I still love and trust God,
I know He is close.
My faith shouldn't be on trial,
That has bothered me the most.
So, like an old record,
It'll have to play out on its own.
Until it's finally over,
Done and gone..
I didn't get a home I asked for,
Or, a faithful husband who loved me.
I deserve to be alone,
I deserve to always be.
I don't like who I am anymore,
I can't even help another.
I've accepted it long ago,
I'm useless to any other.
©trazz
T