I thought I had conquered all my demons, but a thought is just what it is... a thought
There is a never ending charade of probabilities in this world.
And this world has a million sides to it, however the light refraction hits you, that's your glory moment and the rest of us, we can wallow in the shadows for an eternity, for the 'seasonal cold' of the mind.
Perhaps its just me, that goes through normal days with the fear of being off setted by just one day.
Some say, take one day at a time, but do they mention the agony it is to get through just one hour or lets dial it down a notch to just 60 secs ? :-
I battle with my inner self and say, girl it is getting better with time.
Is it not ? or am I just becoming a professional at plastering a meaningless smile over my tired soul, band aids can not undo the wound, so does a smile. My fears are ever so great that I will be name tagged and belittled by society and my family because everybody else copes with it, how can I not?
You see, what child yearns for death at an age as mine?
What teenager should nip skin off their wrists and be overlooked at and told they are just seeking attention.
Everybody has something hurtful to hurl at you, nobody wants to sit down and cry with you till you feel better.
A single comment hurtled at my walls may hit the weakest link and send me crashing to the abyss.
Each shovel of negativity meant to drown me in the hell holes I dug myself, God dusted it off me and ushered me to step my way up. Quick sand ? Inhumanity?
I am just another adolescent living with depression, my world is a tumble dryer of erratic confused mumble jumble of my highest exhilaration and tumultaneous lows. They say life is not easy, but I say trying to remain undead is harder.
©lisathea
L