First of all I'm not looking for sympathy, just to put it simply.
I do this for me I need some relief, when I'm lying in bed and I'm trying to sleep all these intrusive thoughts suddenly creep in on me.
My only companion is my paper and pen. Where should I begin?
I go to my desk and i write how feel, all of these flashbacks they're killing me still, and unfortunately none of my coping skills are working that well.
Fuck it, i think I'll just take a few pills, wash them down with quite a few beers. I just wanna feel anything that's real, I want to be normal, come out of my shell. I can't, my anxiety is holding me here. It's so cozy, it's quite, and I don't have to be scared.
killing the pain is what I propose to gain, but when the high is gone it all remains. Keeping the cycle going again, everyday, until the end.
©pnda392
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