I never knew how much it would hurt being away from you.
not feeling the constant seductive ache that ricochet off my heart passed my lungs and to my brain every time I saw you at work.
I tried hiding my feelings.
that's didn't work.
it never works.
I just would repeatedly kick myself every time you walked by or even just look my way.
the thought of you sent me into a frenzy every time you entered my head.
mind fuckin me as I was blew inevitably away.
your porcelain pale soft skin.
your black long wavy hair.
your deep river eyes burning blue embers underneath your glasses.
your breasts intoxicatingly pressed against your work black shirt.
your thighs hugged together as you stood there making sandwiches as I hungrily prepared the meat.
hungry for you of course.
I died every time I look at you.
like you were the final boss in this game we played.
and all I could think about was ravaging you where you stood.
watching you was pure torture.
such beautiful torture.
pure utter annihilation to my heart.
yet I wasn't afraid to fall.
yet I welcomed it.
the emotions that plaque what I really want.
but ache to have.
yet every fiber of my being saids I need you, I want you.
yet I obsessed over why I can't have you.
I can just taste you on my tongue like a buffet I can't afford.
if you were a witch I'd let you put your spell on me.
yet the agony of want the agony of need.
yet I desire thee.
for to me you're irresistible.
yet I watch you.
attentively.
seductively.
like a deer in headlights.
seduced by the light.
even though I don't care if it's my Doom.
I still love you.
I still want you.
I still need you.
like the air I breathe.
yet there's the phobia of my heart wont beat unless you are near me.
yet I just exist.
like cloak and dagger.
a love that shouldn't be.
but was meant to be.
maybe in a past life.
maybe I get reincarnated or something.
I don't know.
all I need to be around you.
or the agony of missing you doesn't die.
it just haunts me.
so bitter so sweet.
so bittersweetly.
yet I can't turn off the way I feel.
falling for a fantasy.
dreaming it will become real.
yet these emotions they feel real.
they feel concrete.
when I'm with you I feel so complete.
without you I'm not whole.
I'm not even alive.
you're my familiar pretty little poison.
and I will love you all the time.
you're the feeling that doesn't go away.
it's lingers it's stays.
yet I can't deny feeling this way.
yet I love you.
maybe I was just born this way.
to love.
and chase you.
yet you're always on my mind no matter what I do.
©darkdeity
D