while all I heard is he is trying all I saw was him moving right along knowing he could see my soul see my heart through my eyes I was never that transparent.
Knowing he could see the fear, the look of plain out exhaustion on my face
the picture has become clear, there must be an escape if I ever want to amount to anything more than I am right now...
I'm only tapping these words for the battle every letter I tap is like a sword.
Tapping one battle at a time just to make it through a craving that is little but feels like a giant stepping on my back..
This is the biggest challenge, they all thought I was scared of what they could do what a laugh, there is no worse fear then the fear I have now..
the fear I carry with me I use for a shield against an urge that would be that monkey I carry on my back..
So as i lay here clean and sober trying to fight away an urge they are in the next room pumping their urge away numbing their pain and enjoying the company of the crowd that makes them laugh...
As I sit alone, scared, sober, and clean tapping on a phone trying to beat a war that is not
meant to be won...
Angela Oaks
©angelaoaks
A