How can someone feel so alone. So alone when you're surrounded by people. How can I feel like I'm drowning and there's nobody around. But I'm surrounded by friends. How can I feel so hopeless. Even though time after time after time she'll tell me that she loves me, she cares about me, she really does. I know that. And yet I can't. I can't seem to find a way to breathe. I'm drowning. And yet I'm breathing. I'm alive but not living. How can I nearly starve myself then the next day have no regard to eating healthy. Why did I get stuck with all these thoughts. How is this fair. What did I do to deserve to never feel like I am good enough. What did I do to feel like a disappointment. Why do I deserve to feel like I am weird. Different. Just because I am gender fluid. Just because I am bisexual. How did I deserve to get stuck in all this hate. All this. All this nothing. I'm choking on nothing. I'm drowning in nothing. Nobody else can see this. Nobody else can help. What did I do?
©chels
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