What Have I Become?

Squandered dreams and broken promises, is that all this life has been?

I wish I could have seen this coming, but would I do the same again?

I've looked upon my own reflection, I stared with such a blackened hate.

I'd call my self such horrid things, have I just accepted my fate?

What happened to that child, the one I used to know?

Has he fallen to the darkness, that this world most surely shows?

Or has he gone in hiding, while this creature runs his race?

Perhaps that child has died and this demon is who has replaced.

Well maybe I have failed him, that child who is in us all.

I suppose I should have died in battle, maybe then that child wouldn't fall?

Or could it be I'm broken, has the world made me this way?

Is it the war-torn soldier that I am, conflicted with the man of whom I say?

So many questions haunt me, like the ghosts of those battles past.

But I've accepted that I should not ever know peace.

And come to terms with that's how my life will last.

Don't fret for me, dear readers, I'm far too fond of myself to do it.

Though I must ask myself most regularly, could I even put my family through it?

That question often comes to me, on my most darkest days.

And I've thought upon it fiercely, in the most wicked of evil ways.
©jarnmarr