What!?!
I can’t believe this is happening!
Like a bolt of lightning to the chest
My thoughts are fried
I lost my soul
Now what?
I don’t want to accept it
This can’t be it for us
I know she loves me
I know I still love her
But now what?
I can fix it, I know I can
Can we start over as friends?
Maybe see each other?
Just one last time?
Now what?
I’ll try drinking!
Great idea, get blackout hammered
Release all my anger on a public stage
As I light the match and destroy it all
Alright, idiot, now what?
The next sun brings regret, and disappointment
I am a dumbass, forever alone
I failed her, I failed myself
I hate my life
So now what?
I guess I have to face it
The reality of the situation
I have to apologize for losing myself
I also give forgiveness, in order to find myself again.
Now what do I do?
I make a choice to be happy
I appreciate the experience
I walk away a better man
Having laughed, learned, and loved.
Now what?
We lead our separate lives
Still trying to negotiate life
Everyday a little easier
Tears washed away, again they smile
Through most the day anyway
What now?
I don’t know what’s next
I know I’m finally at peace
When she crosses my mind
I smile, thankful for our time.
What will I do now?
I’m moving forward without fear
Grateful for everything I have
Excited for what’s yet to come
Because of His grace, I now know my happiness awaits.
©carsonlee
C