Here I am, crying the night again
Drowning in the waves of your name
From adjusting time for you to staying late up night,
I tried my best to set everything right
Every of the harsh word you said took a piece of my heart away,
You'd sleeped off my conversations at night,I still repeated them during the day
I wanted to be clingy,to be cheesy
You kind of sophistically matured wanted me to take it easy,
I tried into someother I never knew ,
I changed myself according to the likings of you,
The truths,the rights,the wrongs,
the movies,the songs
I told you everything about how i was feeling,
You gave me a kind of lecture to shut up and thought I was healing,
For me I made sure that the rules which were implied on me were broken,
Isn't...
You forgot all sweet little things that you earlier spoken,
I led people out of my life and decided to give you my all
You took dope,You drank
You often replaced me with them without knowing how my heart sank,
I didn't cage you for sure,I didn't chain you with any norm,
Remember how you vanished suddenly and I begged you to inform,
How I spent my sleepless night in hope of seeing a single text from you
I suffered your absence,I still not entered your personal zone,
I started doubting my existence,Your some actions made me feel so small
I was trying to open each and every knot of my mess,
You after knowing everything didn't want me to express,
Sometimes you were so absent that I literally cried over nights
You could see me complaining but never saw the underlying hurt,
I was ready to take your vent but there was a lot going inside me,
I. was more in need to let it all out,but you were too busy to see
Remember the time when you made my blood boil by acting wild
Remember when you asked me to stop behaving like a child,
I literally needed you when i had this mental issue,I was so disturbed
Mostly I cried when you slept
You snored,and i. wept
There's nothing much that i could say
I needed you and
I Just wanted you to stay
You called me a negative thinker when I talked about my depression cycle
I told you i. had sleepless night and you asked me to smoke dope,
I am sorry I was not asking for a solution,I just wanted you to help me cope
I told you that it was getting difficult,I can't handle it anymore
You thought that sending bsdm videos could change my mood
You sprinkled life in me then made me want to die,
You showered on me the gold petals ,then pelted stones
You made me feel on top of the world then as if I am crashing down
You kept me warm then left me to die in the cold outside,
You were like a peaceful fresh lake then a tsunami's fatal tide
But now wherever you are just be peaceful,happy and live with no guilts
and don't worry about me I have to keep popping my lithium pills..
Thank you
©shagun31
S