When will this end ?

When will this suffering end ?
Each time i look around me
And all I see is emptiness.
I wish i had someone around me
I wish I was not always this lonely.
I wish i had someone
with whom i can share my pain ,
who will break this inner walls of mine,
who will make this suffering stop.
I smile everyday.
But
My heart wants to scream the fuck out of my body,
soul .
My whole existence is a lie.
Is A Very Big Lie.
I want to die .
Not because i don't appreciate life
But because ITS TOO MUCH TOO HANDLE.
Sometimes its just not fair u know
How , I never wanted this life
yet when i have it I want to live it
Life itself is not letting me.
WHY ME !?
WHY AM I NOT ALLOWED TO BE HAPPY !?
WHY EVERYBODY LEAVES ME !?
WHY ME !?
WHEN WILL THIS END !?
WHEN CAN I BE FREE !?
WHEN CAN I RUN AWAY FROM EVERYTHING !?
I CAN'T LIVE ANYMORE IN THIS
WORLD OF PRETENDENCE!!!
EVERYDAY LIVING , SMILING , PRETENDING
TO BE OKAY
ITS TIRESOME !!!
ITS SO SO FREAKING TIRESOME!!!!
These are my emotions ..not any nice rhythmical poem ...
I WANT TO DIE AND LET GO OF EVERYTHING!
I WANT THIS SUFFERING TO END !!!
WHEN WILL THIS END !?
WHEN!!!
©Ragasree