Who am I?
It's a question on my mind that's been on repeat.
Taunting me that I really don't know the real me.
Whispering in my ear
Haunting me until I break down and tear.
Reminding me over and over again until it was to much to bear.
I questioned God almost every day what was the point of making me if I didn't give him the time of day.
I never got an answer
And I never cared
Because honestly i was scared.
Who am I?
I wanted a sign from the lord up above that I was needed.
That I wasn't a mistake like people told me.
Then... I got hit with reality.
My cousin died in a car crash when he was only 21.
That day we lost a brother, cousin, nephew, and son.
I remember the day my dad told me that we would be going to his rosary.
It was a week long but felt like a year.
I was told that he's happy in the skies.
Watching us when we're happy, in pain, or when we cry.
Those days were the days that I really asked God
"Why?"
Out of all the people he could've took that day he chose Big Nate.
And I couldn't help but ask "why?"
I got my answer one Sunday morning.
It was that finished his journey.
Now he's in a special place in the skies because he was faithful in God's eyes.
Who am I?
Big Nate had a beautiful story
And me? Well I'm pretty boring.
Sometimes I dont understand the difference between wrong and right.
Or the difference between impulsive or courageous.
But what really hurts is I can't tell the difference between fake and real.
I often look in the mirror and ask the same questions over and over.
Who am I?
Why am I alive?
What purpose do I have in this world?
Please help me lord!
I tried to carry all of my burdens alone.
Hiding myself from the unknown.
Never really knowing what to expect.
But then it bites me in the butt and gets me stressed.
Why does everything have to be so tensed?
Who
Am
I?
Honestly I dont have a clue,
But I'll wait a little longer and wait for the truth.
But I cant help but say...
Who am I?
©heather_m
H