why why??

As I walk out into the night Starry sky, I ask God outloud "why God why?" Every night I hold my pillow tight, praying and praying this fight will end tonight! these years falling down my face is my past, trying to erase thoughts in my head that constantly races, leaving no space for a place to rest my tired head, going to my bed, I dread the lonely thoughts going through my Head, waiting for the morning I cringe, I feel like I'm hanging on with one hinge, feeling all alone I have no where to call my home, my suitcase is still full with clothes that stay in the same fold, I'm wanting my mom to call me, to hold me, for the pain I know she can see all what she has done to me! knowing she will never admit that, the pain she caused me is something I'll never be able to forget, I just hope the ones who have walked away from me, will one day face their regret 😥