11/26/23
Yesterday reminded me of you.
Yesterday was tranquil,
aside from the fact that I've been in complete solitude for the whole day,
I decided to have a short and sweet car ride.
You remind me of car rides.
Sometimes you make
my adrenaline levels rise up,
but sometimes you calm my heart too,
like a mercurial high I was addicted to.
Short and sweet. Temporary but euphoric.
The soft glow from my phone made me widen my gaze a little;
it was 4:50pm,
it was raining softly as I indulge in the silence that would softly whisper solemn symphonies in my ears.
You loved silence.
You always reminded me of that as a way to escape my countless rambles about life.
I've grown to love silence, too.
You were right,
I guess being silent is better than being loud and not having a single sense in your mind.
5:10pm.
My eyes gaze constantly at the raindrops that fell ever so slowly on the car windows reminded me of the tears you wept.
The rain reminds me of your howls now.
Your weeps,
Your cries,
Your melancholy,
Your puffed up red eyes and lachrymose pieces,
Why did the universe remind me of your broken heart?
Your broken heart that I mended,
and broke.
I was at fault for everything.
5:30pm.
The choleric rain calmed down after a few minutes,
leaving a trace of petrichor breath.
Soon, it turned into a small afterglow peeking behind the big, dark clouds.
It reminded me of the time you left a trace of your existence,
the smell of petrichor.
6:24pm.
The sky had cleared up now.
There was no sign of another rain,
not even a slight shower.
I gazed unfondly at the sky.
I was used to this sight.
I'm not a typical opacarophile like the ones you see in Florida, but I guess the evening sky was just not for me.
Reverberating hues of orange,
yellow,
pink,
and purple.
The sky calls out your name.
But have you heard me call out yours?
Every initial,
Every syllable,
Every sobriquet I used to call you,
It's stuck with me.
I remember your name and what it means.
I memorize each and every little nickname,
and I recite it in my mind everywhere I go.
I make-believe like you're next to me as I recite it.
Prevarication's aching signature is on me like a tattoo lingering on my skin,
and I hate it.
I wish I could actually face the truth someday.
I still believe you're here with me, dear.
Just not in this world.
I observe the sky again.
The colours make me ponder about something you said,
that those colours were your favourite ones, because their harmony and contrast makes it look like an afterglow in the sky.
A sign of an afterglow,
like a therapeutic ointment for my wounds,
a door of planned-out paradises hologrammed,
a meteor of pulchritude raining down from the heavens,
all of it reminded me of you.
An afterglow.
I shudder at the thought.
One of devotion's deepest ocean of tears;
was letting you go.
Letting you go was an afterglow, after all.
For your death had caused my silent wars,
my divine hallucinations,
my out-of-this world imagination,
my tears,
my wounds,
and the broken stars in my eyes.
Emancipation from melancholia wasn't the anodyne pills that caused it,
it was letting you go.
I just had to let go of you now, my rain.
Like an afterglow, we'll meet again sometime.
I hope you understand.
I love you.
Even when billions of years have passed,
I will still love you.
-
11/27/23
I wrote this yesterday, and now I'm looking back at my crappy work.
Proofreading is really a must, huh?
Well, anyways, guess I changed my mind.
I love the evening sky now,
I love each and every day I get to exist,
I love each and every car ride I go on,
for it reminds me of you.
(The End Ꮚ˘ ꈊ ˘ Ꮚ)
A/N: I wrote this yesterday and decided I would also leave some sort of note, a note that's still part of the poem. It was kind of confusing at first but I executed the idea by going into a time skip and then letting the poem end there with a note. In addition, to those who were wondering if this is based on a real experience/event of mine or if I'm talking about an actual person that was in my life: The answer is no. This is actually fictional and based off of a character's POV which I decided to write in first person. Anyways, that's it! And if I have some time I'll provide a short meaning about the words I use here so you don't have to go to any other website to search it. Adios and thanks for reading!
J